cut the crap

ive busted my foot and ive been indoors since like exams say. what ive learnt from this experience is that you can just about fill a 14 hour day with quake live and masturbation.

i was wochin king kong on itv 2 the other week but i wsnt payin attention to the story cos one thing was on my mind....where the fuck was king kongs giant cock? it shud be swingin all over the place

it wud reli suck to work in an office. the highlight of my day would be figuring out a reason to use that other inside out setting on a stapler.

fizzy drinks are bad for u cos they rot ur teeth, theyr bad cos they have PHOSPHORIC ACID!!

the french economy was booming b4 the recession. probably because every single perfume company was founded in paris sometime in 1965

i learnt an important lesson 2day trying to make squash. dilute and moisturize are not the same thing.

i was volunteerin at an orphanage and i noticed this priest comin every week and givin handsome donation. its weird how kids all look pretty much the same. its also weird how every kid at that orphange called the priest father.

i bet emo kids in japan try to learn english to look cool

alice peeked through the looking glass...which could have been any piece of glass considering most of it is atleast translucent

the oil tycoon

theres something repulsive about bein congratualted by those who have never given 2 shits bout u. it has a smell to it....the smell of family.ive just managed to fx my belt bukkle with a comb. i know thats a bit random even for this blog but spontaneous moments of awe inspiring brilliance deserve to be shared. back to my bitching. yes family sucks, its like a mafia without the guns and with all of the stabbings in the back(see godfather pt2). lets talk about me again. i find myself feeling numb wen i 'shud' be happiest. have i forgotten how to be happy? no... im reli happy wen i play fifa. and quake live:D u kno wt? im so 'content' ryt now that even IM nt interested in what im sayin, i feel sorry for u guys. kk ill make a joke. what did the rich arab oil tycoon say to the oil who he thought was his inside man calld 'men'? "bitch! you men?" geddit? if u dont ur probably matt and have the IQ of a geographer. if mr may and that fat bitch ray had a child together how fukkd up wud the contours of that kids face be? it makes me sick just thinking about it. if ms rae were to make a map of her cave (vagina) i wud be rather impressd. i was rudely awoken this morning by the TV in my parents bedroom. the reli big tv was given to me by jason for by birtday a cuple of years bak cos he ws gnna throw it out. my father decided that it WAS infact a piece of junk and wud selflessely dispose of it for me by placing it in his bedroom. its fukkd me up. anyhoo i ws woken up by my dad watching (really loudly) jeremy kyle. the bitter sound of the proletariat. peace.

One year on..

Has it really been a year? This time last year a clean shaven (referring to my head ofc) wategwann decided to take on the world by emulating thousands of other teenagers and expressing themselves online. what i have discovered during this time is that the pen is most definitely not mightier than the sword. i dont actuli use a pen but the keyboard is also not mightier than the sword. simply because a sword is sharp and can cause severe physical damage. it shocks me that no1 seemed to notice this and let this stupid phrase to live on. for all those budding young journalists who look to me for inspiration, and thousands do, i'll leave you with this advice. criticism is a good thing, it means your work is known and was read. any attention is good attention. roal dahl, the greatest writer of all time, would have just been an old paedophile if no1 red his work. also, pictures are probably better at sayin things that u are, so use pictures to express thousands of words so u dont have to. to my occasional reader, i thank you for reading this blog. it is because of you that this has tempered to storm of time and will hopefully continue to do so for another year.

yours trully, wategwann.

The Adventures of Kavi

Well it all started yesterday morning cos wen i woke up it ws the day before repeated, and again this morning it was the same day. going to the same grounhog festival can get very repetative! it actuli happnd ws that i woke up in the middle of the night. i lookd at the clok next to my bed and it sed 80 past 1. thats not right i thought. 'its the same as 20 past 2' a magical genie sed as it appeared in my bedroom. also i gt three wishes. i used the first wish turning the genie into jo brand and the 2nd to make her bend over... mmmm good lovin. anyhoo three minutes after meeting the genie we were off cos we had become tyt frends by then. we flew to and island called the isle of dogs. we asked the two guard dogs to take us to their leader. the leader dog was this big ol bitch. also she was jamaican. we asked for the jade monkey. u see... the genie needed the jade monkey to set off the trap of al jazeera and become a news tycoon to fund his holy war against salaadin to avenge his father who had been sacrificed in the brewing of the twelve isotoped used by the cocacola corporation to make diet coke with lemon. the jade monkey was given to the dogs for safe burial in the garden of the thames. In an authentic jamaican accent the bitch askd wt we wud giv her in return. clearly neither of us had any worldly possesions and i didnt want to use my last wish, we pleaded with the female king. she didnt think their cud be two queens in this country, and she took the UK as a country so even if the queen was in scotland she wudnt call herself queen. she eventualy agreed to give us the jade monkey, IF we did something for her. she asked us to set 60 tonnes of explosives under the castle of kathmandu. i thought shiiit how the fuk r we gnna get that thru customs, im fukkin asian aswell. lukkily the genie cud fly, i mean thats how we got to the isle of dogs in the first place. we landed outside the castle and one of the cat guards saw us. "cats at kathmandu? real original kavi.." the guard sed 'hey fuk u!' 'and isnt this whole idea of talkin animals kinda similar to a post merret did once?' so just like that crazy jap woman did on youtube, i stamped on the cat until its brains came out. 'bon appetit' i sed as cats brains were probably a french cuisine. ' oh kavi...' the genie replied ' ur too much:)' the explosives were set and BANG! the place was up in flames. we tried not to laugh but there were so many cats on fire it was too hilarious not to. 'WAIT' boomed a voice. the cat leader was in flames approaching us. she was blonde with beautiful green eyes, i wuda tappd that if it wsnt on fire. 'save me!' she screamed ' i know the secret of ur father. the one no1 knows... cos its a secret.' the genie though for a while with a stern look across his face. then a smile crept back as he remembered the hilarity of the situation. he saved the cat, thinking that knowledge was worth more than revenge at the time being. the cat said ' you see mr winston' that ws the genies name, atleast on his passport ' ur fathers not ded, atleast not in buddhist terms!' the genie and i looked at each other and then back to the cat. this changed everything, or atleast nothing.

TO BE CONTINUED

A lil sumink

Steve took the bus to barkingside. steve then turned into kavi, im too egocentric for this shit, i aint playin no games. i went into tescos with my pal ravz then we ran on walls for about an hour or so. true friendship finds fun from anywhere even from silence. Then we went to the freakiest place ever, the barnados village. 6 long years going to skl before i realised there ws a village in the middle of shitty ol barkinside. along side the bnp BKS and a whole load of asian students is the most tranquil place for storing(lets be honest) murderous orphans and smelly ol folk. me n ravz walkd up to a statue that sed 'live everyday as if it were ur last, now turn around' behind us was a fukking one armed lesbian blak youth. i thought could society possibly hate you more little girl? ravz ws probably lost in profound thought but all that escaped his lips was a mumble of the word 'cupcakes'. turning my attention back my pretty little sauda, she spilled out 'si yo fuero un chico' i replied ud still be a one armed freak and then legged it. poor girl. i made my way to primark, ditching ravz on the way, tamils have tution even wen theyre not in education, keeps them out of trouble (civil war). nehoo u know ur poor wen u wait for a sale at primark. peace.

What makes a good person Pt. 1

What makes a good person? Now we want to get some AO2 marks perhaps we should define what good actually is. It would be wrong to say that there is a fixed definition for good but it would also be false to say that the concept of good is relative or a matter of opinion. What I'm trying to say is that no matter how you spin things you can never fully claim or prove that good to one person is evil to another, that's because we associate the concepts of good and bad with that of right and wrong. I'm going to try to keep within the parameters of logic and hypothetical situation, also not taking into account the insane and anti-social behaviour etc. also I'll try to keep balance by taking three different angles from the worlds of moral philosophy, political philosophy and science.

"The greatest good for the greatest number of people" anything action that would lead to this would be the right action, at least according to utilitarians. Although this does seem to provide a basis for how to be good, it carries the same flaws as simple majoritarianism and therefore democracy as well. Majority opinions have often led to outrageous decisions, both majority vote or just majority consent or acceptance. Slavery, racism, sexism have all arisen from majorities or the strong benefitting from the system. we still see this today, majorities in the commons have led to an abuse of expenses and led to war in the last 10 years, minorities in the world have actually benefitted from capitalism by exploiting the majority, but only because they have majority consent. Forced compliance to the majority can lead to good on the other hand. Education would be opposed by the majority of kids while they're still in school, at least up to a certain age, but we can all agree that forced education is good. This brings me to the 'general will'.

Rousseau and other political philosophers have discussed the 'general will', anything that would benefit society as a whole. Although this can be the same as majoritarianism, it can also go against the idea of almost everyone. One problem with politicians acting in a good and right way is in deciding what the general will. Nietzsche felt that a 'superman' would come along and decide the general will, good advice dude. This led to Hitler, Stalin and Totalitarianism. The nation is split between on how the place should be run, half on the right and half on the left (not really, but it would be simpler if it was). it could be that both sides are wrong. If it were possible what was good for society, would it also be right(good) to force compliance? if there ever arose a situation (I've adapted this from torchwood) where you had to sacrifice the lives of 1,000 children or the earth would be destroyed, many would choose to let earth be destroyed rather than live a life where they couldn't look at themselves in the mirror, even if it would suit society if it gave up the kids. It might be easier to find out what good is if we took the complexities of civilization out of the picture.

Let me take you back to the big bang. The universe probably started with a huge expansion with incredibly simple particles like quarks. These particles joined to become more comples, electrons then protons then atoms then molecules. Certain people, including physicists, believe that the universe follows a path, almost a destiny, in which things keep getting more and more complex. The theory is called the tendency towards complexity. The universe started infinitely simple and became more and more complex, and known to us humans at the moment are most naturally occurring complex beings in existence. The universe will continue to become more and more complex until it reaches an ultimate complexity, many believe this lead to the tendency toward simplicity, in other words total destruction or the big crunch, others believe the ultimate complexity is god. Anything that can be seen to aid the process towards ultimate complexity may be seen as good, and anything to hinder the process can be seen as bad. Killing is bad, because if everyone did it, it would lower the population and the gene pool would decrease stopping evolutionary diversity. Love, tolerance and freedom are good as they keep the world even and fair keeping the gene pool up and increasing the evolutionary diversity. Once again there are flaws, as this doesn't take into account people, the environment or the economy but it does take into account the big picture.

There may not be such a thing as good but only the human condition. Ofcourse none of these ideas are my own so feel free to look these up for yourself. Any way, getting back to the question at hand, what makes a good person?

To be continued.