blates looks like simon!

where to start. my typing is gnna be a lil lame 2nite, altho it normaly is, cos my fingers are stikky, its soo hot. also i masturbated.. anyhoo. i managed to find more trees that smell like semen, oblivious to the rest of the world that dont smell their tissues when theyr done. the chemical compisition... lol lets not take the beauty away from it. so i decided to write again after some writers block because georges blog is gettin good. bastard. so i need some new material...good material. its harder than it looks to write entertaining stuff. apparnetly j k rowling used to sit in some coffee shop wen she thought up harry potter. more like harry mocha.....hehe:p *blushes* coffee does help u write. it enters the mouth...warm n tasty, and makes u happy. caffeine then enters the stomach and is absorbd instantly in the small intestine, its in liquid so it gets a fast trak into ur digestive system, like those lines at thorpe park. i ws waitin at thorpe park for 90 in a line for stealth, some lil girls startin singing britney spears...i hit them one more time....hehe:p *blushes* oh yh once the caffeine goes into ur blood it releases soem reactionary chemicals and serotonin the happy stuff. happy ppl are usually the ones who are the most annoying. like mr hamid, sure hes a fat jolly son of a whorish radion, but he seems happy. i remember he used to love romero. i mean who didnt? late night in ml1 with pearlman...rubbin each other with lotion on the front desk.....wen mr jelf comes in with only a speedo and a party hat. mmmm! i laughed for a while jst now jus remembering jelf eatin weetabix any time of the day. wt a G. i miss PE, i ws just gettin into football and then we dont have to play anymore..sigh. sport is good, its keep men manly in this age of feminist domination. feminism is turnin the world into gayness and knobbishness. actuli its the originality matrix. i lyk the matrix, the film cos it had shooting and the black guy actuli survived and then becomes a CSI. anybody wtch csi? theres this one in miami where everyones a prik. the main isnt even a policeman, hes like an Lt, i swer thats in the army:S theres this texan woman who loves guns, probably for shooting niggaz, or spics, miami has a lot of immigrants, and slaves, they export them to the cotton factories in georgia. i spent 4 weeks in georgia, its full of blak ppl, they used to sell weed right outside my aunts shop. lol yh my aunt has a corner shop. they call my aunt mama and my uncle papa...mainly cos they dont kno theyr own rentz. i feel sorta sorry for orphans cos they have to live in victorian england. empires count as supranational bodies right? they have to. is the EU an empire? the usa defo is, infact any federal system shud be surely? like india and um.... other places? i just loggd in to chek my email, i have like a gazillion different passwords, unlike some ppl i kno who use the same one and then tell everyone what it is. does everyone else have like another secret email account for stuff thats like dodgy and pornographic? its funs signing up to stuff and usin jasons home address so he gets lots of bills. ms patel just calld me...all 7 trillion of them, i gtta return my book. i dnt think ill be able to get to skl in this heat. its canada day today, my bros gone to london. theyr actuli sellin bison burgers:S do they still exist? i gt food in my belly and a licence for my telly - P Nutini. you need a licence for ur tv... i just thought about it. u need a licence for a GUN...a license to KILL...hell a licence to drive... but a permission to watch tv?? sigh. i ws reading the daily mail....wait a minute!!:O u see my maa doesnt trust me to make food on my kitchen table without makin a mess, she has a point, so she gets old newspapers from old ladies on my street and lays them on the table so i can do my bizz. anyhoo they all read the daily mail. it ws sayin that the mccanns, u kno the baby killers, are makin a surplus on the amount of donations theyr receivin and the amount spent on searching. about 150k. a good business idea i have to say. ppl i have had a mini relapse into my coffee addiction, as all addicts do. ill get over it. but i have to say it reli does make u feel better, atleast for like 10 minutes. think of all the things u do in 10 mins....kate three times over mmmhmm! im listenin to la roux atm, she reli does look like simon. look ill make it my pic and ill let u decide. anyhoo we have 3 pretty sik female artists comin thru. lil boots, la roux, florence n the machine.....NOW i think 80% ppl hate these three. 15% dont kno who they are..hint hint tanjil, james, ravee mr jenkins and so forth. personally i think theyr great. u kno who i cant stand tho... empire of the sun i mean what twats! why wud u be austrailian? just stupid. i sorta forget australia exists half the time. i mean even wen im lookin at a world map, the edges of the world are like the americas and japan. like no1 lives there, the population of london is probably bigger. speakin of london, shudnt north london split off from south london? all these niggers are makin us look bad. WHOAH i take that bak. that ws my daddy talkin. did i talk about my aunts shop? she is sooo racist man. i think its cos she loves them reli, and blak ppl are racist to themselves, white bourgoisie mentality man, usa suks. its weird but now we can forget everything we've learnt over the last 7 years or so, ill never need to use maths again, especially after the iphone learnt to calculate the split bill. the next generation will not be able to use calculators. or even their heds. just like in sainsburys the other day wen we gt £4.70 change frm a fiver for spending £1.30, im not complainin but technology is makin us stupider. why learn to write wen u have a laptop max? why learn to socialise wen u have msn? maybe its just progression. thats why the matrix was created in that film, not cos of the reason they gave, did anyone understand the film?... but because ppl were to obese and stupid to do thing themselves that they lived in a computerisd world where they were semi-perfect. actuli sounds quite cool, especially if u cud just load all those things into ur hed, like kung fu. i wud learn french, just so i cud swer at ppl and make it sound romantic. ilya du solieli mutha fuker! i remember wen my pc hard drive ws 64 mb. bak in the day, duke nukem was 16 mb! huge ting man, the doom 3 of the day. also doom was pretty big then to. iggcq3 i think was god mode. im finally 18! all the things ive alwas been doin i can now do legally! god the irony! im gnna be a lawyer.. im such a bad citizen:( i dnno who to work for, the market, the queen or the state, but is the queen the state?, l'etat c'est moi. nah i think we've moved on. the queen wants a pay rise! what exactly does she spend her money on? coccaine? i cant blame her, she has such a flop family. phil FLOP, charles FLOP harry FLOP, willys prety cool tho, has a nice choice in women. how old is the queen? and why isnt she ded yet? wen she dies its gnna be mega missionz gettin all the money bak and printin charles on it. is it illegal for the monarchy to marry blak ppl, blak genes are dominant innit. so just one and the royal family will be a very different colour. good ol blighty. apart from london this country is pretty shit. now sweden...theres some social democracy we can be proud of. also...*lost in thought*. i think this is the first time im successfully pikked up a post from another day, i startd this last night and startd again today, im pretty impressd with my self. actuli im easily impressd, omg i have 5 fingers! actuli stuff like that does freak me out occasionally, i dnno if ive alredi talk about this. but like i ws thinkin about arms. if we saw arms on alien, not like ours but like slightly different, they wud seem weird. big tentancle type things with grabby things. weird man. like have u noticed how big trees are...theyr HUGE!! and theyr alive!! theres like a 20ft being living outside my house and i never seem to care. some hindu i am. i dnno why i still call myself hindu, probz u cud probably be a satanist(not the actual ideology but like a satan worshipper) and thatll probably be accepted by hindus as a path to god. how comes its always the sort of pushy religious ppl who are the ones that dont understand their own religions, but i spose religion is what one makes of it. so theres like 7 billions religions. does athiesm count? i spose it does. ive found myself defending relgions recently, and i have no idea why. maybe its because my brother has finally found the guts to say hes an atheist. and i hate everything my bro likes. he keeps sayin democracy cant have a constitution or otherwise its a republic. in a sense thats true, but in everyother sense its not. for a republic powr has to lay with the constitution and a set of unelected senate. well not unelected but not neccesarily universal suffrage. power doesnt lay with the demos. in liberal democracy where does power lay? with the power elite ofcourse chomsky. well maybe ..um...damn! i always do this. wt i ws sayin is that a state can have a constituion while still keeepin power residing with the ppl, look at switzerland. my family keeps almonds all over the place, my mum says they make ur brain work better. my mums better of in the kitchen and not lecturing. well this is a lil more than i usually write, i think it actuli was the coffee that helpd....sigh. welll until next time guys. peace

entertainment, not feelings

summer is hot! sure its a lesson many have learnt but not me! atleast not till 2day. cmon england hasnt gt much to offer. its like theres a heat wave every decade where a bunch of old ppl die bt aprt frm that this countrys weather is shit. shit in that the sun is hidden behind a grey curtain. nt that i dislike that, i love bein depressd! hmm. i love how boots advertise summer as a time to make women sort out their fukkin imperfectible selves. bloated, ugly women with unclean homes and children. women get all the shit. and so they shud, that fat fukkin whore shudnt have told adam to get her some fruit. bitch! god is it just me or are women gettin lazier? men were gentlemen because women did all the house work, but theyr just fat orange bitches, demanding positively discrimated rights. its chromosonist! its a womans world soon guys. i heard someone say that ther wudnt be wars if women were political leaders. not true. ww2 wudnt have been startd over the invasion of poland maybe, but some lady wud say germany looked big with those borders and BANG! england has the fattest women in europe. its cos they have rights here. wt a mistake. i wud love to see paris again, i went there wen i ws in yr 5, i went with my mum and her sisters. never go holiday with women, they just spend all day shopping. shopping in a country which has a changin exchange rate with us... its like trading ur money for cows and then eatin them wen ur a vegetarian. actuli its not. but u get the idea? wen i went to florida my cuzin sista spent 50 usd to get into universal studios jsut to spend all day shoppin and no goin on a single roller coaster. cant blame women, 3000 years without a job and now they get financial responsibility they cant fukkin control themselves.
ENOUGH
yh im disgustin myself with the sexism, but the stories are true. its gettin pretty dark outside. i dont like to be disturbed wen im doin these blogtings cos i 4get wt im sayin, also im pretty fkkin embarassd about wt i write. i wish i cud be silly again, cos i ws alot happier. the uk has adoptd a silly humour now innit. look at those confused.com ads, silly is the new witty. its not about slick puns but about unicorns in outlandish situations with a varied vocabulary.
"one day a walnut ws skippin along a rainbow wen an exhaust pipe ran up to it and sed ' where u goin mate' and the walnut turned around and sed ' away from a personifaction of inanimate objects' the exhaust pipe then left cos he gt all puffd up.....he ws allergic to nuts" sigh? i think ive forgotten how to be funny. anal just isnt funny anymore. i thought it ws cos i ws all lokkd up in my house during exams but like my house can be funny at times, like one time my mum calld me to dinner so i fukkd her up cos she blates didnt make rice. i love rice. i will any shit aslong as it comes with rice. my diet is pretty fukkd up aswell. i remember i used eat bread and ketchup. it ws a mixture of laziness and yumminess. hmm i havent insuktd anyone. i had sexual intercourse with a member of one of my associates family. done;) i ws wochin this thing about darwin and it sorta hit me that all of us are monkeys. well not exactly monkeys but like close to. its pretty weird. i have weird moments like that, moments of ummmm.. like 3rd person perspectives. humans have arms, like branches, with grabby things at the end of them. doi. oooh i gtaa pop, cya soon. peace.

Forever Waiting

Four walls, a timeless sentence, sweet silence. The pulse in my head grows ever louder but the ringing never stops. It’s an empty beauty, a disastrous beauty. Delicious pain sweeps through the air and rocks my very soul. I am alone. My eyes ache from staring and my mind draws blanks. I start to forget. I forget what I have forgotten but the fact that I have continues to ring true, along with the pulse in my head. I close my eyes. The serene endless darkness arrives.
‘Liberation’.
I go where I please, meet who I choose and do what I want. Everything is right. But. There’s always a but. This isn’t real, I’m not sure what is, but this sure isn’t. The void collapses, the smile drops off my face as the endless darkness becomes the back of my eyelids. It won’t come back. It’s for the best. I open my eyes, nothing’s changed. I breathe a sigh and wait. Answers won’t come but I’ll just wait.

exams to the universe via UKIP

one exam 2 go! whoo? exams are dos man, but it IS quite sad knowing that ill never reli need to go to skl anymore. ah well, so wots poppin dudes? nada mucho ay? i h8 how ppl always go on holiday at different times in summer, like u never see all the people u wnna see at the same time u gtta almost schedule it, i spose it keeps u busy. i like summer cos of the fact i have like 12 hours a day just to read, and an hour to stretch my legs. its bre hot tho. i dnt remember summer being this hot, its global warmin innit. shud i politicize this? mmmm yh kk but only a little bit. i blame ukip for their seemingly anti-recycling policy. theyr party broady-cast for europe was genuinely funny. i ws surprisd to hear some ppl i kno voted ukip, "well i dnt like labour anymore and i ws never gnna vote tory right wing bastards!" ..... yh votin ukip is the rational solution. now lets stop the judging! wts it called wen u always think ur always right? it has to be some sort of psycological defect... prickishness. feminists are always accusin men of this, i think feminists have launched an irrational war against men and are winning. lol ofcourse i dont im no tory. and plus they couldnt organise a war thinkin about shoes all the time. and wernt laces a stupid idea? wteva happend to laces? actuli i take that back. i dnt anushka to shout at me..:p but anyways yh i dnt have laces on any of my shoes, except those pink ones. oh yh and the white ones... hmm im thinkin about deleting this post but ive written this much so i myt as well finish it. i always get sad wen im about to finish a book. its like its the end of a journey:p how gay! i sorta feel the same about skl, except im sorta glad at the same time.u kno wt else made glad? the fact that the house of commons maild me to thank me for the advice i gave them:D hehe:D i knew N Clegg read this blog! (borrowd frm matt). wteva happnd to pencil cases? i remember every year like a week b4 skl startd i wud go to partners or wh smiths and buy a brand new pencil case and fill it with all sorts of junk like a fancy fountain pen and a tablet rubber that i wud never use and wud get all dirty with all the pencil shavings in my pencil case. and remember pencils? i havent used one in ages, it seems much more useful than pens cos u can rub it out, i spose thats also a dangerous thing, but still. ive always had terrible handwriting, i wonder why. i think i read somewhere that people who think too fast have shitter handwriting than those who take their time and are like are composed. hmm im neither. i cant imagine how hard it must be for stand up comedians to stand up in front of all those ppls, like wt if they cudnt think of anythign to say and just lke startd talkin like i do now. "yh how about that ukip...wt a bunch of shit... so... tv dinners...wts up with that?" ive never actuli had a tv dinner and i admit im nt reli sure wt they are. i imagine theyr sorta like plane meals but not full of relgious jewelry. lol kavi that ws just...sigh. i just bought some toner for my beast of a printer, cost me £90! printers are like big magnets with laserbeams..well laser printers are anyway. its like a mini star wars battle in ur printer everytime it prints. how much paper have we wasted wen we print something wrong. one time i actuli attemptd to do my RE hw and it ws 10 pages long. wt a waste. wt eva happnd to pearlman. man i wud tap that. she usd to model for alders. makes sense, only jews shoppd there. i always plannd to smash all the glass in alders with a single bouncy ball, it wuda been spectacular.....ly expensive thinkin about it now. remember those machines u cud buy bouncy balls from for like 20p out side the swimmin pool. how much urine must ther be in swimming pools, like atleast 10%, thats why u feel warm after uve been in the water for like 5 mins, cos of all the pee. lol? im actuli always quite cold, and i like always have cold hands and feet. bad circulation or soemthing. i have low blood pressure aswell. im kinda worried about it, but only cos i kno nothing about it. thats wt my mum does, she ws scared of hayfever cos she thought it ws this contageous uber disease. everyone has it these days:O! shes a hypocondriac, she takes all sorts of drugs, painkillers , ceterizine hydrochloride, ferrous sulphate , bethlametasone, amphetamines. all sorts. and after all that(she doesnt reli) she still likes this ayurvedic medicines, the cure to cancer is to rub ur eyebrow didnt u kno? im like the only person in my house to have an immune system, every one else gets ill and its not fair! i have(had) to go to schoool every fukking day but they got to stay at home and get me to do everything for them. not fair at all. wen i do get ill i have weird dreams, i get this kinda overwhelming feeling. i like havin good dreams, if i have a nice dream ill be in a good mood for the whole day, my life is just that sad. sleep is quite mysterious. 'sleep is the cuzin of death' - mr game . i can understand wt hes tryin to say, but nt reli.... i wonder wt deaths like. i think tryin to imagine death is like trying to comprehend the existance of infinity, or even minus infinity. daunting shiz. sometimes wen i genuinely think about death and get all deep about it, i start to warm to the idea of christianity, nt because jesus loves me, but because i wud love to believe in a heaven. saddly fukkin enlightenment thinkers had to ruin the party a cupla centuries ago. a lot ppl i kno say that they wudnt want to live forever. theyr dum. i wud love to live forever, no threat of outliving my children or family...like im ever gnna get married or anything... no living forever sounds like fun to me, except wen the universe collapses on itself. or even when the earth dies out. or wen N korea nukes the shit out of us. hmmm. well thats enuf boys. cya next time. peace.

hmmm...

I have 7 books stacked up one on top of the other on the desk next to me. I've partially read all of them apart for one. One of them is "The Prince" by Machiavelli; according to my personal statement I have read it though, so shhhhh! The only book in the pile that I've actually finished reading was a birthday present from Tanjil. Although I'm not a neo-liberal as such, I mean I don't watch FOX news, but I have to say I enjoyed the book. I read most of it waiting in the middle of Piccadilly Circus outside T.G.I.F waiting for 'friends' to arrive for Jen's birthday meal. There's something quite appealing about reading in a crowded place in the middle of a winter's night sipping a venti mocha with whipped cream. I don't drink coffee anymore and I try to consume as little caffeine as I can. It's impossible though because it's in chocolate:(. To highlight my commitment to giving up, I have 12 cans of diet caffeine free coke in my kitchen. It tastes just like regular diet coke, horrible, but it doesn't keep you up at night. I've gotten used to the taste of diet coke because my mum is quite conscious of my health, not really her own, but definitely mine, like all good mothers. My family is quite unhealthy and I'm the only one in my household to have a BMI of less than 25. I'm a healthy 21:) contrary to any of rigby's claims of me being obese. At a point is my life I was a borderline anorexic and weighed less in year 11 than I did in year 8. I guess I was 'bullied' (according the definition of bullying posted throughout the school) and it has undoubtedly shaped my personality today. Namely, giving me the self-loathing trait. The poem of 'Jona's got nits, Kavi's got tits' still rings in my ears and has led to me rinsing my hair whenever coming into contact with Jonathan. My family has also influenced the way i act. Being one of the youngest in my family I got used to being told to sit down and shut up, as any suggestion I made was unwelcome and any argument formed illogical, older is wiser and demands respect. My family shaped my religious views as child as well. Growing up as a Hindu of the highest caste in the caste system, being raised a vegetarian, being taught about Hindu philosophy and taking part in several religious ceremonies including my own Hindu equivalent of a bar mitzvah meant I grew up as some sort of Hindu fundamentalist. This most probably influenced my political views as I shrugged of the idea of the eight-armed god. I wound up (rather embarrassingly) at radical ecologism and then more 'sensibly' to modern liberal ideas bordering on socialist. The transition has been more successful than of other Hindus I know. When I grew out of organized religion I also abandoned nationalistic views I once held for India and tried to distance myself from Indian culture. I can fluently read and write Gujarati but i can't speak it, which is quite odd. Indian culture today is quite sickening, there's a wedding practically every Sunday, just so they profit of not having to pay the Congestion charge! Indian people tend to talk really loudly as well, I personally can never tell when someone is angry in my house because they're always shouting. And of course, where would Indians be without free food? Why do Indians turn up to weddings and functions rain of shine? Free food! My mum has often complained of my 'un-Indianess' asking me "tu doryo che?" which is "are you white?". Of course scientists have proven the correlation between skin colour and culture. My cousins ask me the same question, but they mean in the rudebwoi Asian sense. I usually reply with something like I'm not Indian and you're not Indian, look at the clothes you wear, the language you speak, the food you eat. They never listen though because "as any suggestion I made was unwelcome and any argument formed illogical, older is wiser and demands respect." I think there are a lot of British Asians to cling onto the culture of their ancestors with no real success. Guys want to be Asian but they don't want to be 'freshies' , which to me are people who have the most Indian characteristics. I suppose most people have identity crises, not just Asians. I DO wonder what life would be like if I were white....