hmmm...

I have 7 books stacked up one on top of the other on the desk next to me. I've partially read all of them apart for one. One of them is "The Prince" by Machiavelli; according to my personal statement I have read it though, so shhhhh! The only book in the pile that I've actually finished reading was a birthday present from Tanjil. Although I'm not a neo-liberal as such, I mean I don't watch FOX news, but I have to say I enjoyed the book. I read most of it waiting in the middle of Piccadilly Circus outside T.G.I.F waiting for 'friends' to arrive for Jen's birthday meal. There's something quite appealing about reading in a crowded place in the middle of a winter's night sipping a venti mocha with whipped cream. I don't drink coffee anymore and I try to consume as little caffeine as I can. It's impossible though because it's in chocolate:(. To highlight my commitment to giving up, I have 12 cans of diet caffeine free coke in my kitchen. It tastes just like regular diet coke, horrible, but it doesn't keep you up at night. I've gotten used to the taste of diet coke because my mum is quite conscious of my health, not really her own, but definitely mine, like all good mothers. My family is quite unhealthy and I'm the only one in my household to have a BMI of less than 25. I'm a healthy 21:) contrary to any of rigby's claims of me being obese. At a point is my life I was a borderline anorexic and weighed less in year 11 than I did in year 8. I guess I was 'bullied' (according the definition of bullying posted throughout the school) and it has undoubtedly shaped my personality today. Namely, giving me the self-loathing trait. The poem of 'Jona's got nits, Kavi's got tits' still rings in my ears and has led to me rinsing my hair whenever coming into contact with Jonathan. My family has also influenced the way i act. Being one of the youngest in my family I got used to being told to sit down and shut up, as any suggestion I made was unwelcome and any argument formed illogical, older is wiser and demands respect. My family shaped my religious views as child as well. Growing up as a Hindu of the highest caste in the caste system, being raised a vegetarian, being taught about Hindu philosophy and taking part in several religious ceremonies including my own Hindu equivalent of a bar mitzvah meant I grew up as some sort of Hindu fundamentalist. This most probably influenced my political views as I shrugged of the idea of the eight-armed god. I wound up (rather embarrassingly) at radical ecologism and then more 'sensibly' to modern liberal ideas bordering on socialist. The transition has been more successful than of other Hindus I know. When I grew out of organized religion I also abandoned nationalistic views I once held for India and tried to distance myself from Indian culture. I can fluently read and write Gujarati but i can't speak it, which is quite odd. Indian culture today is quite sickening, there's a wedding practically every Sunday, just so they profit of not having to pay the Congestion charge! Indian people tend to talk really loudly as well, I personally can never tell when someone is angry in my house because they're always shouting. And of course, where would Indians be without free food? Why do Indians turn up to weddings and functions rain of shine? Free food! My mum has often complained of my 'un-Indianess' asking me "tu doryo che?" which is "are you white?". Of course scientists have proven the correlation between skin colour and culture. My cousins ask me the same question, but they mean in the rudebwoi Asian sense. I usually reply with something like I'm not Indian and you're not Indian, look at the clothes you wear, the language you speak, the food you eat. They never listen though because "as any suggestion I made was unwelcome and any argument formed illogical, older is wiser and demands respect." I think there are a lot of British Asians to cling onto the culture of their ancestors with no real success. Guys want to be Asian but they don't want to be 'freshies' , which to me are people who have the most Indian characteristics. I suppose most people have identity crises, not just Asians. I DO wonder what life would be like if I were white....